“what is your ideal in a man? / not afraid of sex / tall, definitely tall / you” [1]
words to describe western masculinity: subliminal / homoerotic
midnight cowboy (1969): a requiem to my love life – consumed / commodified / repeat
split open the coconut husk / offer the flesh to my mouth / spit out the milk – i’ll keep the change
scene: rico kneels down to joe, horsehair brush and shoe polish in hand / directors cut: a demarcation of us in bed / both our hands sticky, a circular rhythm rubbing the wax into the cracks of worn-out leather
keep my mouth ajar, the door locked / light a cigarette, blow smoke into my ear / it whispered: “only one thing I ever been good for is lovin'” [2]
the fluorescent light flickers in the backseat, i see right through you like a slideshow / frame by frame, nothing sticks / sweat slips down the windows, like his hairline / i pretend the telephone poles are palm trees swaying the wind / for fifteen minutes, we’re in miami / the movie ends when you finish
*[1] / [2] dialogue taken from the film midnight cowboy
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Rafael Cadaoas (he/she/they) is a queer Filipino writer from Vancouver, BC. His work has been featured in Chartium, Catheartic Magazine, and Fleeting Daze Magazine. When he’s not writing, you can find him trying different cafes around the city.